Forums: I am new and would like a sponsor to help me

Posted by Debbie on Jun 24, 2013 in Sponsorship

I realize I have a problem after yet another breakup where I am left devastated.
I gave him everything and did everything for him.
I want to stop falling for this type of person, I want to find out what in me makes me behave this way.  I need help.

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Matthew on Jul 18, 2013

In terms of a sponsor, finding one in CoDA has proven to be difficult for many members.  The way we recommend is to attend the same CoDA meeting regularly and make sure that it feels comfortable for you.  At the meeting you may identify someone who you share similar struggles or stories with.  You can approach that person to ask if they would like to be your sponsor. We like to remind early members to not take a "no" personally and that people may be currently tackling many of their own issues and do not feel they have the resources to be a useful sponsor.
 
Some meetings pass around a "phone list" which lists names and phone numbers of people who are either looking for a sponsor or willing to be a sponsor.  One meeting in particular that does this is the Sunday meeting at 92nd Street Y (found here: http://nyccoda.org/meetings/12). 
 
I would also suggest reading the Sponsorship pamphlet that can be found at some meetings (particular the Sunday one I mentioned above).
 
Another option is co-sponsorship where you and another person agree to sponsor one another.  It is not the same situation as sponsorship, but can still prove to be quite useful to some people.  Here is a small writeup I found that may give more information: http://www.coda-uk.org/index.php?page=co-sponsorship-in-coda

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